The Model of Tedium

By Steve McCullough on

Some games are shit.

We all know that, and we've come to accept it.

However, some shit games masquerade as golden daisies in the summer until you've played them for more than an hour, wherein they shed their beautiful outer layer to reveal the ugly shittiness that lies just underneath.

This is where I draw the goddamn line.

And there is one specific kind of game that does this more than any other. One kind of game that masquerades as a quality game, one that lulls people into believing it's not shit.

The ones that simply fail to be fun.

"Well duh, McCullough" you're inevitably saying. But hear me out here. These games usually boast incredibly large fan bases, and each new installment will see people rush to their online marketplace of choice to download, sometimes even legally. It's the games that some people play because they feel as though they have to, not because they necessarily want to.

Games that come to mind? World of Warcraft, The Sims, most MMORPGs that aren't WoW (I'm assuming there has to be one or two out there). These games seem fun, they do. However very quickly you find yourself falling into a routine, playing methodically. Playing not because you're having fun, but because you want that new expansion on your house, or you really want that Skull Cleaver Extraordinaire 3000+. Is that a WoW weapon? If it's not someone at Blizzard needs to get on that shit. These are also the games with a vague ending at best. By not establishing when at least the game ends, an integral part to any game goes missing. Ask yourself, fellow human, why do you play World of Warcraft, or The Sims? I'm willing to bet your answers would be something along the lines of "because I want to be a higher level!" or, "because I want a better job for my Sims!". Now, why do you want to be a higher level, or get a better fake job? "Well, to be better!" or, "To buy more fake things!". Mhmm...and why do you want to be better, or buy more fake things? "So I can get to a higher level!" or perhaps, "to make my fake Sim character look better!". Right. I think you see where this train is headed. These games are tedious. You play so you can be better at playing, so you can play more to be better at playing. Fucking hell you've turned a game into a job! A fake job! One that you pay for. At the expense of your real job, which, y'know, pays you. Some 70s gamer somewhere just whimpered.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a few binge-game sesh's myself, and I undoubtedly will again, but at least that's fun. I'm failing to see how turning you're precious moments of free time into a boring routine benefits anyone, much less yourself. If you can honestly tell me (or, not me, since you'll probably never see me, but someone) that you find power leveling for the sake of that higher number fun, then fine. I'm not going to judge you. Just don't lie to yourself. Because I don't believe you.

You can't convince me that playing a boring games trying to pass itself off as fun is actually fun. Slugging away at tedium is something I do to make money, not something I want to do with my money. Otherwise, I'd enter the paint drying competition. Hell, at least then I might win something. The more I play these kinds of games, the more I wonder why the hell they exist. When I'm bored to tears doing something that's supposed to be fun, someone somewhere has fucked up. Or is playing a cruel joke on me. I don't like either of these scenarios.

And no, I'm really not impressed by that big number floating next to your characters name, bro. I've had a shit-ton more fun playing a variety of awesome games while you slaved away for that number, and really I'm thinking I have much more to show for it, if only because I was able to shower periodically.

With love,